Sunday, August 19, 2012

A Glimpse into our life lately (sad)

Warning, this is a sad post.

Earlier this year, Mike and I decided we wanted to add to our family. I was looking forward to giving Sawyer a sibling and having a new sweet baby around. We decided to aim for a Feb/March 2013 baby and wouldn't you know it, mid-June I found out I was pregnant and was due at the end of February. We were thrilled! I am one of the "lucky" ones who gets horrible morning sickness, I did with Sawyer and I did with this baby. With this baby, it was actually worse and I almost had to get iv fluids from being dehydrated as I couldn't even keep water down. But, my doctor relieved me with an anti-nausea prescription and things got much better.

I had an ultrasound early on, I was almost 7 weeks, and everything looked great, baby was sweet and had a strong heartbeat. That combined with the morning sickness helped me calm my nerves as those two things are good indicators of a healthy pregnancy.

I will skip over a few details and go to August 3rd to my first appointment with my OB. She had planned on doing an ultrasound and I was excited to see my little sweetheart again. We began the appointment talking about me having a repeat c-section and how much better I had been feeling with the new medication.

Then we moved on to the ultrasound and she was very quiet. I noticed after a moment that I didn't see the familiar flicker that is the heartbeat. I asked her if she saw it and she sadly said no. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I should have been over 10 weeks and the baby was measuring 9 weeks. Very very sad.

So, I was pregnant, and now I am not. I waivered back and forth on writing this post as I like this blog to be upbeat and I enjoy looking back on sweet family memories, but even though I wasn't able to bring this baby into this world, he or she is still a part of our family and I wanted to dedicate this post to our sweet angel.

It will take a long time for us to heal, I am so sad, but I do my best to think positive. I have Sawyer and he is truly wonderful and amazing. We love him so much and he has been so completely awesome lately (as usual) and I know that this experience would be so much more difficult if he wasn't in our lives. I am so thankful for Mike and our family. Mike's parents and my parents have been wonderful through this experience. My parents got on a plane to be up here with us for a week. I was thankful to have them here.

Sorry for the downer post, but I felt the need to share my angel story.

Flowers from my parents.

Sweet little baby from my first ultrasound at 6 weeks 5 days

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a very sweet post and sometimes writing things out is a good way to heal. I'm sending good thoughts your way!


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